14 comments on “Social skills: context matters

  1. I never, ever do well when I am only around people in my own age group, especially when it is all girls! But frankly, I do not care. I have many friends who are years older and younger than me, and have more in common with me, than anyone I knew who was also born in 1992.

    I really do wish I had more friends in town, but very few students on my campus seem suited to be my friends. They all assume I like parties, that I have a part-time job, or that I can drive. None of those apply to me, and I have a hard time trusting that others won’t judge me for those.

    • If you do want more local friends, maybe joining a club pertaining to one of your interests would be a good place to start. That gives you something in common right away.

      • That’s what everyone keeps telling me, but it never worked well enough. It only helped me make a few acquaintances. I am urging the Student Disability Center to get a program started in the dorms so that I can actually tap into my advocacy skills.

        I’m not completely isolated anyway. I do have a boyfriend who regularly drops into my place, and he’s an ASAN chapter leader. The ASAN group and my charter school are the only places where I felt like I was actually part of the group.

        In the end of the day, it is really more about sharing passions than sharing interests. Only on rare occasions have I met anyone who even knows what neurodiversity is, let alone advocates for it like I do. Most people I meet are too reluctant to talk about “taboo” topics, which are my favorite things to talk about (as long as it doesn’t go into animal rights or gun control).

  2. Chels744, I really do understand what you feel. My ASD daughter is 22 and does reasonably well with little kids under the age of 5 and then with the elderly. She had a lot of problems at school with people saying they were her friends only to discover the opposite. Consequently the word “friend” is a very bad word for her.

    I am learning about neurodiversity and it really makes sense to me. Now I am working to get the people that support my daughter to learn about it and accept it. It is a work in progress but, a very worthwhile one.

    Hopefully one day my daughter will find her “peeps”

  3. Why I dislike the term “Social Skills”:

    Because using the term implies that it’s something you don’t know, until someone teaches them to you, and then, there’s no excuse anymore to fail applying them.

    I think the word “Social Resources” might be much more accurate, because it implies the fact that they can be depleted, and then the person is unable to act “properly”, despite the fact that they are aware of all the social guidelines they’re violating.

    Or, Social Spoons 🙂

  4. So my first reaction when I met Nick at the mentorship thing, knowing what I knew of his story:

    “how does anyone NOT like this kid? He’s fantastic. He’s personable and he is helpful and he is saying useful stuff with no BS. The world needs more JUST LIKE HIM”

    …and then I remembered that I’m Autistic too so I *would* think that. In that context, he shines.

  5. Pingback: Social skills: context matters | Life, His Way | tumblr backups

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