20 comments on “Letting go of (some of) the worry

  1. My son is similarly concerned about my welfare. He moved away in April….I miss him cleaning the snow off my car. My younger (non-autistic daughter), doesn’t think she should ever have to clean the car off. She says, “Why didn’t you come out here earlier, Mom?’

  2. Beautifully said, thank you for this inspiration. I needed it to hear it exactly! My guy is 11, seems moderately high functioning but still beginning to learn how to read, and hasn’t yet sustained a friendship. He’s an incredible trail runner, sweet and empathetic, loves to help, too, and still melts down with frequency. Thank you for reminding me to love in this moment and let go!

    • I don’t like the “functioning” terminology precisely because of what you say: a person can be great at some things and not so great at others, so it’s impossible to label his entire being that way. He will get where he is meant to be with your continued support, on his own timetable. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. You say if you could do things over you would “…play instead of boring therapeutic exercises” but what if your child WON’T play? I can’t figure out how to interact with mine beyond “working with him.”

    • Play can look different for different kids. Join him in his kind of play. What does he like to do? The important thing is to follow his lead and stop when he wants to stop. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Thanks for sharing, my son is 28years he was assessed at 14yrs with Autism and I had no idea what that was but he actually is more aspergers with muscle tone issues, Glen had a lot of issues with emotions he was very detached but is so loving now he puts us all to shame and yes empathy too, he was not the best at sport either but is now a gifted ten pin bowler and also with lawn bowls amazing!!!! he has worked in a supported work enviroment since the age of 18years and has a fantastic work ethic, everything has taken time but he got it in the end and that is what I always told him when he was young and would get frustrated because he couldn’t do something ” you can do it, sometimes it will just take a bit longer” Looking back as a parent of any child there are always thoughts of “if only – I knew that or did that etc…..but guilt is a pointless emotion, we all grow and learn by our experiences and our mistakes, what my son has taught me is priceless and I have maybe shown him that it is ok to make mistakes no drama we still love each other

    • Guilt is pointless, yes, exactly. And letting them make mistakes without drama or emotion, yes. There are things I would have done differently if I had known what I know now, but I didn’t, and that’s that. I am sharing what I can now, in case it helps anyone else. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. As a mum of an 8 year old ‘moderate’ autistic boy you have quite possibly answered every question in my head. Your last paragraph will now become our mantra. ThanQ so so much for taking your time out to write this.

  6. Thank you! I was about press publish on a post I have written about these very same worries. It was as if you are talking to me. I’m going to publish it later today with a link to this post if that is ok? I’m afraid it makes me sound Whiney but it was how I was feeling. Thanks for setting me straight ๐Ÿ˜Š

    • I’m so glad! I have learned so much from people who are farther down the path than I am, and I think we all should pay it forward (or backward as the case may be!) when we can. ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Such an awesome post – Thank you! I am the mom of a 22 yr old on the spectrum. Unfortunately she was not dx till she was 16. I have learned so much, and continue to learn, from wonderful parents that are willing to share. There just are not enough words to explain how wonderful it is. Happy New Year!

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