2 comments on “Who is the expert, really?

  1. Awesome. My son is 15- I went through lots of years of confusion. He was so much like me but why was everyone saying something was wrong with him. I had all this internal struggle. I was always his biggest advocate, I would try to explain to the teachers why he behaved certain ways but they wouldn’t listen, they just argued with me. His father didn’t understand either (which was interesting bc they have similar issues as well but think dad wanted better for his son). I felt so lost. First he was professionally diagnosed and then I started blogging. It was interesting to me that all the adult autistics accepted me. A couple pointed out to me that I probably wasn’t NT. I took some online tests and with many other adults (the real experts) encouraging me I realized I relate so well because I’m an aspie. It has been so freeing for both of us. He asked to be homeschooled once he started high school and now we do online school – I take the lessons and teach them in way I know he will understand. I had already quit taking him to psychologists- we once had a really good one that we both related to (maybe undiagnosed aspie 🙂 ) but the other ones- oh my. The one day the one started lecturing me & I was maintaining eye contact as have been “trained” to do. Oh that feeling of her reaching into my soul. No more “experts”. I do what I know worked for me & I turned out just fine. I still struggle, yes, but we get through.
    Sorry this is becoming so long. I blog over here http://www.aspieside.wordpress.com I love Karla’s page- she has awesome information.

  2. I want to thank you for this. My son and I are both autistic, and I’ve had a really, really hard time trying to talk about neurodiversity, how we aren’t broken, and how what other people expect us to think and feel, or even what it looks like on the surface, isn’t nessecary what is in our heads. That we have a right to be heard, and that people need to stop telling us what we feel based on outward signs.

    Our family life is functional, we are thriving, but it may not look quite like everyone else, and there is NO reason that shouldn’t be an acceptable thing. I find it really stressful that everyone pushes all these therapies, and I think they are more for the sake of the parents, than the children in a lot of cases. My son has not had all the traumatic interventions I went through as a kid to fix me, and he’s doing better than I was at his age socially and emotionally…. and you know why? Because while we talk about stuff, and work on things, we accept him for who he is.

    It’s okay to be different. And, his real friends, will be able to accept that he flaps and spins and giggles and smiles alot – and that he prefers to work alone on school work and projects… and we’ll gear his life at what he’s interested in and what he’s good at. He needs enough social skills to get by at the grocery store, or at a job, but at home, it’s okay to be your autistic self.

    Our home is very autistic-friendly that way. Stimming is encouraged around our household, and were all disgustingly happy most of the time. I notice that it’s when we have to try and hide all our autistic traits, that we get drained, and feel less happy being around people who can’t accept us for who we are that’s the problem.

    We have a language, and it doesn’t always look like everyone else’s. We have creative imagination, we just don’t always use it the same way others do. We have feelings, but we may not express them the same way – We spend a lot of time learning NT language, but our real friends, will find a middle ground and learn ours too.

Talk to me.

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